


How Not to Deal with Mafia Law Enforcement

by kohaku_shi



Series: Twin Skies [3]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: A WTF moment is shared, Attempt at Humor, Chiyo is way too talkative, Confused Vindice are Confused, Extra, Gen, Non Twin Skies Compliant, Omake, Reborn is Surprised, Self-Indulgent, Somewhat Crack/Parody, Tsuna is panicked, and the poor Vindice are just a tad bit overwhelmed, technically an AU of an AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 02:44:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14415981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kohaku_shi/pseuds/kohaku_shi
Summary: "It’s the end of the Mukuro Arc; Tsuna’s defeated the Kokuyo Gang, and while Chiyo still feels a little useless, all’s well that ends well…. Or, well, it does until the Vindice show up, anyways. And Reborn’s not sure he’s ever heard Chiyo talk so much...or so excitedly, either. He can already feel the headache coming." also known as: "The AU of an AU in which everyone is blindsided, several people —and groups— are given new food for thought, and Reborn finds himself in need of an Espresso. Maybe two (or several)."Set in the Twin Skies!Verse, but not necessarily a part of it. More of a "What if" scenario than anything. Somewhat Parody. Posted Separately only because it could technically fit into either the Pilot or Main Story as an alternate option.Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Self/Character-Insert/Twins!Verse (Omake/Complete)





	How Not to Deal with Mafia Law Enforcement

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILER ALERT! Well, kind of, anyway...
> 
> This is an Omake/Extra/Alternate/Future Scene that I just really, really wanted to do. I’m currently rewatching KHR! (or at least playing it in the background and watching whatever catches my attention while I type) and as I reached the end of the Mukuro Arc an idea came.
> 
> I’m don’t think this’ll actually happen, but there’s still a possibility of spoilers, even if it doesn’t turn out quite the same if I _do_ do something like this later on. (Honestly, I’m itching to do stuff that’s past the childhood arc, but I do still have a general plan/outline I want to follow, and spoilers are never fun, so…)
> 
> It basically wrote itself for the most part (the Vindice were absolutely _the_ most difficult part of writing this, and I’m still not satisfied with it, truth be told), and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to update this story next, so… I guess I have an Extra/Omake thing?
> 
> This is basically assuming it’s what would happen if everything else happen pretty much according to Canon up til this point, Chiyo joining them for the whole Kokuyo Land Excursion notwithstanding. Well, for the most part, anyway.
> 
> Just consider this crack/parody if you’d like, with only a little (like, a marginal amount of) chance of becoming canon to the current storyline. (There’s already at least _one_ —or, well, a _few_ things that’d be different leading up to this point if it actually did/does happen, after all.)

**—    ☙** ○ **❧    —**

Tsu-nii did it. He'd finally done it! He had managed to take down Mukuro —even without her help. Honestly, though, it felt like she'd been useless since she hadn’t really even been able to do much along the way (helping Gokudera-kun break Hibari out notwithstanding —and apparently as Motivation for the boys to 'take things seriously'). Sure, she’d been brought along for the ride when Tsuna had _seen_ what’d happened to Mukuro and the others thanks to the strength of their bond, but…

Listening to Ken and Chikusa as they tried to keep them all away from their _precious person_ , she couldn’t help but to feel somewhat...moved. Tears spilled — both her own and Tsuna’s share as well, since he couldn’t very well allow himself to at the moment — down her cheeks. It was...both sad and somewhat touching the way they told things. All true, and with no extra details (they could tell, that whole hyperintuition thing was just  _ridiculous_ about this sort of thing, after all, whether they wanted to know or not) or exaggerations as they listened, hearts ever as one as her nii-chan responded. For both of them.

Their friends were  _important_ to them, after all. Almost —or just— as important as Mukuro was to them.

Nii was weak at the moment, the rebuke bullet’s effects moving his pacifist’s heart and reminding him of the reasons he fought, but Chi… Chiyo had seen and felt every moment of it as well, contributing at the end as she pleaded for her brother to get up, feeling just how close to the edge he was, and just how dangerous the bullet _really_  was.

If he hadn’t… if he’d not found his _reason_ , his courage to stand up again…

Something had told her that he wouldn’t stand up at _all_. At best, he’d become weak and possibly fall into a coma, but at worst—

 _He could_ _have died._

She had been so, so upset in that moment as he’d teetered. Upset and angry as she yelled at her stupid, kind, pacifistic brother to _get up_. Because if anything happened to him, if anything tore her brother away from her…

She’d never forgive him (or Reborn).

(But more importantly, she’d never forgive herself —for not being of more use, of being able to help when it all happened.)

Seeing him stand again, flames fanned the brightest and largest she’d seen in a while, she’d gone almost boneless in relief. That didn’t mean she hadn’t resolved to ask Reborn, to ask _Bianchi_ , even, to help her get stronger once this was all over. (She didn't realize that part of it had been her feeding flames down their bond, her own desperation lighting his own and allowing it to burn even bigger, even brighter than any of them could have expected.)

She couldn’t be dead weight. Not again. Everything that had happened, all that occurred would have happened pretty much the same as it had even _without_ her, the voice-not-voice and inherent _knowing_ telling her that such was the truth.

The only thing she’d changed so far had been giving the boys more motivation to fight. If only because they’d had to protect her as the weakest link of the group.

So when the Vindice, the knowing that something was _wrong_ , as Tsu-nii found himself  too weak to follow his heart, she found her chance.

Though perhaps it would be better said that Chance had found her, her body moving without a second thought, let alone a first, as she bolted, heedless of Reborn’s warning and Tsu-nii’s shocked exclamations as the chains shot out.

“ _NO_ —!! Stop—!” she exclaimed, the remaining few that were still conscious looking to her in shock and —in Reborn’s case— disbelief as she threw herself in front of the convicts. “Don’t… _Don’t take them!_ ” she cried, unconsciously tapping into the well of power that she and her brother had always shared between them, the remnants of the bullet Tsuna had taken making it easier for her to ignite her own as she _pulled_ at the remainder of its effects, surprising her twin as he suddenly found it much easier to move, though it didn’t change the fact that he was still battered and tired from his fight.

One of the shackles found itself around her neck, the other two deflected off the sudden flare of _Sky-Harmony-Intent_ that washed over her. Not as strong as her twin’s (he’d had the full effects of the bullet and the extra flames she’d shared, practically _dump_ _ing_ it down their bond in the only way she _could_ help against the possessed members), but still impressive considering the instinctive control she appeared to wield them with. (Or perhaps not, considering her and her brother’s shared _Intuition_ and inherent understanding of each other and the Fire they shared.)

The bandaged figures stilled for a moment, apparently either shocked or surprised by the sudden event.

The remaining two shackles that had been shot out clattering to the floor after being rebuffed by the pure, cloud tinged flames.

Reborn tsked, tilting the brim of his hat down as he quickly tried to figure out a way to both pacify the Mafia Enforcers and pull the other potential heir who was, apparently, out of her own newfound recklessness and stupidity (he was starting to regret concentrating more on one than the other, but this? This really was _not good for his heart_ , damn it. The Virgin Saint preserve him, but if this turned out to become _normal_ he might actually just end up finding gray hairs on his infant head).

The chains rattled, the two empty shackles returning, though the final one remained where it was as the trio stared at the —seemingly— insane Sky.

It was obvious that the girl knew nothing, or at least nothing about them, or else she (probably) wouldn’t have done so. That or she was simply, actually crazy. Not that it mattered. Said girl, however, was currently inwardly panicking, the shriek of panic behind her only echoing the one inside her head as she tried not to show her own anxiety. (Why she'd done such a thing, she had no idea, but her Intuition was  _nudging_ at her, and she —and her brother— had both come to learn that ignoring it would be a  _Bad Idea_ , with capital letters, anyway.)

Tsu-nii was already showing enough dramatics for the both of them as she nervously glanced at the three nearly Victorianly dressed males. (How she knew would be a question for another day, but even if she did, she’d just put it down to the usual antics of their shared, and overly ridiculous Hyper-Intuition.)

“ _What the heck are you doing, Chiyo-chan?!_ ” her brother shrieked, quickly turning to Reborn to ask (or scream) for help when she simply ignored him and stood her ground. (She didn't think she could afford to show weakness or do anything but continue forward, as it was.)

“Why are you trying to take Mukuro-san and his friends!” (Somewhere deep in his conscious, Mukuro argued that they _weren’t_ his friends, though even if it’d been said aloud, she —probably— would have ignored it anyways.) Voice trembling in spite of herself as she stood in front of the trio of downed Italians. (Well, at least part-Italian, those were either aliases or they actually had Japanese blood running through their veins based on the names they’d used. Instinct —er, Intuition— was leaning towards the latter, though.)

 _“_ **_Rokudo Mukuro and his allies are criminals_ ** ,” was all she got, the voice deep and echoing in a way that sent chills down the trio’s spines as she continued to stand firm, arms spread as if doing so would continue to protect the fallen trio from harm. The flames that had flared to life so suddenly having since receded but remained glowing like molten cloud edged skies in her eyes in proof of her Will.

“On what grounds?” She asked, voice firm if a little thick due to how fast her heart was pounding, compounded only by her brother’s quiet shriek (or whine) of panicked exasperation.

(“Gods damn it, Chiyo. _I’m_ supposed to be the rash one, _not you!_ ”)

The Vindice actually paused, whether in incredulity or surprise, no one but themselves could know, as they wondered why they were even indulging the chit of a girl that dared defy them. Still, the same voice rang out as they listed the group’s crimes, tone cold if neutral.

“I— I _object!_ ” she exclaimed, Tsuna sighing (almost bemusedly, even if he was still somewhat exasperated, calming from his panic as instinct —er, intuition— told him to be quiet and _pay attention_ ) at the game reference before remembering that she probably hadn’t meant to do so, considering she had never actually ended up _playing_ the game she'd accidentally referenced.

Clearly curious at her objection, even if nothing about them seemed to change, they —he, it— spoke up again. “ **Oh? And on what grounds do you place your…** **_Objections_ ** **…?** ” Voice almost sinister, the Vindice member found himself somewhat surprised when she continued bravely on.

At this point, however, Mukuro had faded back into consciousness, the flare of pure Sky (propagated by a shared Cloud secondary) having settled his imbalance enough to woozily regain his balance, even if he still couldn’t really move or do anything...let alone give a chuckle or even speak up. That didn’t mean he couldn’t still hear and somewhat witness the insanity that was going on with some in-credulousness, though.

Was she...seriously bargaining for their freedom?

“...For several reasons,” she continued, apparently unaware of Mukuro’s awakening as she continued (or she would have stopped in embarrassment, spluttering for a few moments...good thing she didn't though. But whether that was thanks to her Intuition purposely choosing not to inform her, or simply the fact that she was too focused on calling herself all kinds of idiots despite continuing to speak was another question altogether). 

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she cautiously lowered her arms. It was only upon catching sight of bandaged fingers lowering, chains in hand, that allowed her the courage to go on, as she spoke again. “They were only children during the massacre.

"I'll admit, I don’t know _exactly_ how Mafia law works, but it was clearly a case of self defense mixed with lapse of sanity due to un-necessitated torture,” she said firmly. “After escaping, it’s clear they’d have PTSD —post traumatic stress disorder— from such circumstances and distrust any Mafia on grounds of what had already happened to them. They were basically all but  _conditioned_ to believe that anyone from the Mafia would only end up hurting them in the end, after all.

“Take the PTSD and other psychological issues that would have cropped up from or stem from such traumatic events, and it’s no wonder that he might suddenly have a psychotic break, considering _no one_ seems to have even thought about giving or even enforcing therapy to help their issues —as far as I'm aware, anyway— before all but shoving him back into the environment that had caused them to crack, no matter how ‘kind’ they were or might've been.”

Clearly on a roll now, and confident in her conjectures since no one had interrupted (how the hell did she know so much about the subject anyways? It was almost as if she were regurgitating facts from a Psychological text, _what the hell._ And more importantly when and  _why_ had she been reading one, anwyways), she found herself pushing on.

The stream of explanations causing several of the conscious members (Tsuna especially, though he did try to pay attention in case he had to do something to ‘rescue’ his wayward sister) to blank out, Reborn started to wonder if he’d ever heard her say so much in one sitting. Somewhat bemused (if still concerned, especially by her apparent lack of fear and somehow seeming to forget about the shackle still locked on her neck as her eyes brightened, shining in a way that screamed ‘excitement’ even as she started to unconsciously move her hands as if to help explain or work out whatever excess energy she still had), Reborn almost incredulously stared at Chiyohime, the Guards, and then Chiyohime (and Tsuna somewhere in between) again.

“I mean, considering their circumstances, if you really think about it, it was really all just a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. I mean, sure, they could have handled things a lot differently, but you can’t really condemn someone with psychological issues for being triggered into doing something if they're having flashbacks or episodes due to their trauma. It's not as if they'd be able to think logically under duress, especially when all they’ve ever experienced is torture and experimentation. Being treated like lab rats and all is definitely not good for one's mental health, y'know? 

"They’re not beasts after all, they’re humans. Their attachment to each other, as well, is clearly also due to being the only positive influences they had and could trust. So splitting them up is —and was— really a bad idea to begin with. They’re already interdependent on each other at this point, even if they try to label it as a leader-minion relationship because they don't know how to socialize and/or understand the human condition,” she continued, taking a breath before opening her mouth again, apparently  _still_ not done despite her already long spiel, only to be stopped by the sound of chains rustling as the one at her neck straightened.

“ **...That is enough,** ” the trio’s leader intoned, voice a bit strained at the sudden overload of information. “ **We will take them into custody** ,” he continued, ignoring her protests (“But I’m not done— wait, you can’t do that! They’re not—”) “ **_for now_ ** ,” he stressed. “ **We will speak to our leader and take this under...consideration...when they are put under trial.** ****”

“...Oh… Okay. But you’ll keep in touch, right?” She asked, blinking owlishly before frowning, clearly confused by their ‘sudden’ change of heart.

She paused. “You’re not going to put any of them into water tanks, either, are you?” she asked, not even waiting for an answer before continuing, “Because that sounds like a bad idea no matter how you cut it.

"I mean, Mukuro can _leave his body_ and possess people, right?” she mused, clearly thinking out loud more than commenting. “So that means if you keep him sedated and/or in a water tank, that means he’d be able to leave his body more easily… I’m pretty sure I’ve read somewhere that those with Psychic abilities or that can _astral project_ themselves,” using the english word for Astral Projection since she didn’t know it in Japanese, “can be put into water...or maybe salt water...tanks to enhance their abilities. So doing that would only make it easier for him to do whatever he wants without proof to gather, unless there’s some way for you to get proof of possession…” she mused.

The Vindice paused, something like surprise running through them as they tilted their heads in almost unison.

 _What_ . (And again,  _how_ and  _why_ did she even seem to know anything about these things...?)

“Oh, right! As the, er, apparent negotiator for Mukuro and his friend’s release, I’d appreciate it if you could keep me updated?” She asked, blinking at the group as if she hadn’t just blindsided any of them with her sudden wall of information vomit.

(Tsuna may or may not have been moaning, mittened hands clutching at his hair as he wondered at his sibling’s apparently break in sanity. “Chi-chan, _why?!_ ” Like, seriously, why was she inviting such scary people back when there was no need to make more trouble for themselves? She was _supposed_ to be sane! Or, at least, the only other sane person he knew...Damn it!)

“ **...Very well...We will...take your words into...** **_consideration_ ** ,” the apparent spokesperson of the Vindice agreed, they’d be able to pinpoint the odd child’s flames easily enough based on the purity and...unique...composition (A Cloudy Sky, of course it’d be a Cloud-tinted Sky) of their flames.

Not to mention that they were the _only_ known Skies within the small town of Namimori, Giappone.

“Great!” She grinned, clearly pleased before pausing as she was about to turn and giving them a sheepish look, “Er...d’you think you could remove the chain now, then?” she mused.

The Vindice Enforcer just mentally sighed. This was _not_ what he signed up for. Nowhere close to it in fact. But he could moan about that later, he still had a fearsome Vindice persona to maintain.

“ **...** ”

Tugging on the chain, it came free with a loud clank, seemingly floating right back to him with smooth ease, as he waited for the crazy female to move aside before capturing the trio once more. He was leaving _right now_ before anymore of this insanity tainted what brain cells he had left (just because he was undead didn’t mean he couldn’t still lose them, after all).

“Bye-bye~! I’ll be waiting for the good news!” She exclaimed, intuition already telling her that, weirding the guards out aside, her actions would turn out just fine. (She wasn’t going to think about it, though, Hyperintuition still gave her headaches, sometimes. Especially when it came to thinks she just _knew_ she should know, but somehow couldn’t recall anyway. Ugh.)

Watching them drag the trio away, she barely had time to turn and comment on the situation before she was tackled by an errant sibling.

“ _WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!_ ” Tsuna all but screeched, apparently having snapped out of his lecture-induced stupor. He was quickly joined by an irate if still disbelieving Hitman.

“We are going to have a _talk_ when we get back,” Reborn warned her, tone almost dark and foreboding as he hopped onto Tsuna’s head, earning a half-hearted complaint as the medical team finally arrived.

Chiyo’s only comment to any of it (either in denial or not caring, at the moment) was this.

“Hey, do you think I could learn to use chains like that? The way they used them was kind of cool…”

The two males and one lizard sweatdrop, Leon having skittered from Reborn’s hand to lick the girl’s cheek in reassurance.

She frowned. “I hope your tongue is clean,” she murmured, “I don’t want bug guts on my face,” she huffed.

Tsuna faulted, Leon simply sweating and clambering closer her her neck to settle so Reborn would have space once Tsuna inevitably collapsed.

Reborn just sighed, mentally bemoaning the report he was going to have to make to Timoteo at this point.

—    ☙ ◆ ❧    —

“...Seriously, though, do you think I could actually learn to do that?” Chiyo asked, tone somewhat awed as she thought about all the things one could do with them. Cloud flames propagated, right? So she’d never run out of chains, and she could probably disguise it as one of those chain belts or a charm bracelet or something.

It looked like the Vindice had been using their flames to control them, so maybe she could see about getting one for herself, too? She could, like, propagate the sturdiness and/or fluidity of it too, if she could just figure out the _hows_.

Reborn just sighed.

“...Sure...We can talk about it _later_ , though.” He was already feeling a migraine coming on from the female twin’s antics, and there was no way he was going to talk about any of it right now. He was just… _done_.

Honestly, he could use an Espresso right about now. Anything else could come later.

Maybe the twin’s mother would have some prepared once they got back. Or he could request some, if she was around. Otherwise he was going to order Tsuna to go out and _get_ him some when they got back. Because he definitely wasn’t going to having this conversation without caffeine at the very least.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**—    ☙** ○  **❧    —**

"Still, that went pretty well, didn't it?" Chiyo mused, following beside the gurney that carried her brother, two medics to a side.

Said twin was moaning over the aches and pains that weren't nearly as bad as they could be thanks to their shared reservoir of Flame. (The medics, upon finding out, though, had asked him to stop drawing on it to avoid messing up their treatments.)

Reborn had long since disappeared (muttering something that sounded along the lines of 'needing more Espresso before he dealt with any of this'), leaving just the 'kids'  who'd come on the Expedition —well, aside from Hibari, who had already been seen to and collected by a few of his Committee members already— in the hands of the Vongola Medics. Meaning that the twins were the only conscious ones left of those they were familiar with. 

Tsuna just screeched, attempting to sit up only to stop and roll a bit in pain, tears springing to his eyes now that the chaos was —purportedly— over. " _How the hell can you even consider_  any _of what happened ending well?!_ " He complained, wanting to lecture —and maybe scream at— his twin for —apparently— catching the 'crazy' that had begun infesting his life since a certain tiny hitman had first appeared in their lives.

Unfortunately, he found himself unable to do so, soon more preoccupied by the overwhelming pain that came from just  _trying_ to move (especially now that he didn't have anything to dull the pain). This caused the medics by his side to panic, due to the potential deterioration of his condition.

Chiyo just sweat, concerned for her twin's nearly hysteric behavior. With the medics scolding and trying to stabilize him as he finally calmed down, she decided to just let it go for now, holding her tongue as they stabilized and treated him.

What Tsu-nii needed most now was calm and rest, after all. And somehow, she just knew that if she spoke up now, she'd definitely end up making things worse again. (Whoops.)

**Author's Note:**

> If this were a singular chapter, the title (and/or summary) would be:  
> "Rokudo Mukuro" or: "Vindice" (aka: How _not_ to deal with Mafia Law Enforcers)  
> .  
> .  
> .  
>  It’s the end of the Mukuro Arc; Tsuna’s defeated the Kokuyo Gang, and while Chiyo still feels a little useless, all’s well that ends well…. Or, well, it does until the Vindice show up, anyways.
> 
> Reborn’s not sure he’s ever heard Chiyo talk so much...or so excitedly, either. He can already feel the headache coming.
> 
> BONUS:
> 
> Alternate-Alternate (or long-ass) Title/Summary: Sawada Chiyo confounds her brother, the Vindice, and Reborn with her apparent love of Psychology and...excited over-talkativeness.
> 
> (I think you can see why this didn’t end up being the title, spoilers aside.)


End file.
